What is it? What IS self-esteem? It is spoken of as sometimes present, sometimes lacking in a person’s basic make-up…but what exactly is it, and why is it so important?
Many people speak of it as a psychological characteristic, one that can be grown and developed, and also one that may shrink under distressing conditions. Often we’re taught to gauge our level of self-esteem in connection with how we believe others see us, treat us, respond to us. However, this is back-to-front, starting at the wrong end. Self-esteem is an internal quality, self-built (or not), and is KEY to determining the degree and extent to which we can be open and available to life. Feeling good about oneself is part of self-esteem. At deeper levels, it is about self-trust. When we feel confident that we can count on ourselves to ‘do right’ by self, others, and life itself, our self-esteem grows.
In this sense, self-esteem is first and foremost a spiritual property. What do I mean by this? I mean that it has to do with depth, and fundamentals. Every time we tell ourselves that it is a good idea to do such-and-such and we follow through, what results is a growth of our self-esteem…the good feeling which now lives between us and us. Likewise, every time, we don’t follow through, every time we blow off the good idea, vision, inspiration, we lose some of our self-esteem. No one else may know about this, but we will. We will feel it somewhere inside and here’s a secret and mystery – all our cells will, too!
And wait, there’s more! As a person builds (or breaks down) self-esteem, they promote an inner environment in which ‘good’ things (e.g., qualities, essences, valuable characteristics and attitudes) can live (or not). In this way, self-esteem is fundamental to a person’s wellbeing and her possibility for growth. It serves as “good soil” to all else a person might want to be and accomplish. This is why is it so important to continuously keep track of, take care of, provide safety and nurturance for, one’s self-esteem.