Connecting the dots…
In the rush and press of life, we often form up small nuggets of ‘self’. These nuggets or parts are trying to help us navigate in life. When, as children, we are called upon to know or be more than we were able to at the point, an inner attempt is made to rise to the occasion by creating a mini-self that handles the situation we are faced with. It is our best-bet attempt, often made while under threat or duress or pressure to perform, to rise to the occasion. Following its initial appearance, it can become solidified inside us. In the case of trauma, this mini-self serves as a protective energy, stimulated into existence in the face of danger. It can be strong, fierce, angry; it can also be afraid, hidden, small. When older, a person may respond from one of these “nuggets” without realizing what’s occurring. This kind of “triggering” happens to us all.
When a person decides to seek greater self-understanding and knowing, the learning involves deepening the ability to feel and recognize these partial states. And, in facing, experiencing, and accepting the reactiveness and defensiveness that is involved, a person naturally begins to disarm parts of themselves that at one time were desperately needed. We see that it is not the full Self of ourselves but more like a stand-in actor, trying to help or protect. Embarking on a process of healing involves welcoming the parts or actors back into the fold, helping them to come home, letting them be who they are…while not letting them take over. As they all begin to experience the presence of the Self (with a capital S), trust, flow, and wellbeing result.
[Note: This approach is based in the work of Richard Schwartz, the creator of “Internal Family Systems.” Please see resources page for more information about IFS.]